Women. Emotional, self depreciating, forgiving…while still holding a grudge, understanding, proud, analytical, sad… the holder of everything and she has no idea.
Women will see a man and determine his complete value in their lives ( wearing his last name included) within minutes of the first glance, hours of the first conversation, days of the first kiss, weeks of the first sexual encounter and months of the no return of their phone calls and repeat the cycle again without acknowledging the hurt and barely knowing his name.
Women will ride an emotional roller coaster with a man until exhaustion. Going from being delirious with endorphins and excitement in meeting someone who makes them smile unconsciously at their phone while reading his text message, enjoying the witness they now have in their lives, shining in the after glow of sex after a drought to begging for him to communicate, ask them about their day just once and still make themselves available for sex… without realizing they are deeming themselves unworthy with every stroke.
Women will weave a love story web with a man who is uninspiring and unavailable just because he is sitting with a woman they’ve only seen in social settings. Don’t know her, does not like her and with the thrill of competition in her mind she goes after that man she wouldn’t even notice in regular circumstances. He will be all he was uninspired to be from jump. Nonetheless, women will fight to keep him just so that woman they do no know, but does not like won’t have him. And that woman has moved on to compete over another lackluster man with a woman she…(you know the rest).
Women will suffer heartache from a man, cry tears of regret for weeks. Then cuss out said man, every sad song on the radio, God, the dog, his friends and herself…silently and before they can stand in truth, call themselves being friends with that same man because they are “grown” and still drop snide remarks whenever they have a conversation. They don’t even realize you cannot be a foe to an unworthy man if you are still friends with your enemy. And the enemy is her.
Her enemy is the reflection she doesn’t see the in the mirror everyday. The time she waste trying to convince him to call. The effort she spent willing him to care. The body she gave away for three text messages and a knock on the door. The skills she diminished while tying to one up a woman she didn’t know.
Women will put their armor back on and stop crying. They will listen to their circle tell them they are better without him, get back into their routine of being singular, move through life with blinders on and get on the mission to perceived independence. They will give unplanned speeches about them being happy without some man to slow them down and end up in the same exact space giving off that flirtatious yet bitter vibe, seeing a man and determining his complete value in their lives within minutes of the first glance, hours of the first conversation, days of the first kiss, weeks of the first sexual encounter and months of the no return of phone calls.