Single Mother Chronicles: Cupid, Come Sit By Me

Photo Credit: crosswalk .com
Photo credit: crosswalk .com

February 14th can feel like doom’s day for a single mom  presented in shades of red and pink. It’s hard to pretend it is just another day when your office smells like a rose garden and you can barely see your co worker through the cloud of helium balloons surrounding her desk. (Insert -side eye- here). Yes, that IS balloon envy you detect. Hey, Valentine’s day can turn  a single people into The Sarcastic Club for 24 hours. I will confess some of my friend’s  membership a time or two in past years.

And while I am confessing, I know a few single mothers who have become lovelorn on Valentine’s Day. They participate in direct message (DMs) conversations with guys who continually confuse “they’re” for “there”, want to show you their abs instead of their face and misspell argument 30 different times… just to have opposite sex interaction on this day made for love. Step away from the computers and tablets ladies. Realize that you can show love for YOURSELF and others this February 14th.

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1. If you are not a member of a single mommies support group, I encourage you to find one now. The right group will offer you a safe haven to share what is on your heart during those moments when you believe no-one understands, have opportunities for you to meet women that have similar interest/hobbies and also potential business networking. On Valentine’s day, when admittedly your emotions can throw you for a loop,  you and the members of your mommies group can send each other anonymous notes of love and encouragement. The connection established through these acts of selflessness will last long after this single day in February.

2.  Go to the Valentine’s day party at your child’s school. You will be surrounded by excitement and puppy dog crushes. You may even get a foiled valentines while in attendance. It may have SpongeBob SquarePants on it. But, it was given in the purest form of love. The innocence of children is nothing short of magic.

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3. Buy yourself beautiful lingerie that you look amazing in and get your hair done in a style you have never tried before. Continue to pamper yourself by getting a massage, pedicure and your nails done. Maybe also try going to a department store make-up section and have the artist give you a dramatic look. Then take all your fabulousness and have boudoir pictures taken. Confidence is sexy on any day of the year. 

4. Have a corny love movie mini-marathon with your best girlfriends. Pop some popcorn, drink sparkling wine ( or the real thing) and laugh until you cry. Sisterhood is a bond that not only lengthens your lifespan. But, also allows you to stumble from time to time. Your sisters will be right there to help you up.

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5. Have a small get together at your home or a venue. Ask each of your single friends to invite all the single men they know. You all can have appetizers and wine, then mingle. In a group, there is no immense pressure for everything to be perfect, like on an one-on-one date. There could be a potential love match for many people in the group. Who knows, one of them could be you.

6. Go out with fellow single moms and dance ’til you drop to Beyonce’s ” Single Ladies ( Put a ring on it)”. Remember the dance is not complete unless you do the hand move also. Sing “Stronger” by R&B crooner Tank, at the top of your lungs. ( This particular song has great testimony weaved throughout it. Very powerful. ) Just get out on the dance floor, let go and have an absolute ball!

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So if you are single this Valentine’s day ladies, know that you are not alone, balloon envy is normal, DMs are not your friend until the 15th and you do not have to suffer through this day without simply loving yourself and having a fun.

I am my daughter’s valentine every year. I make a card and buy her a single red rose. She is still thrilled by this after many years and what mom doesn’t love the painted hand print heart card from her child? Who needs a printed thousands of times card from Hallmark…not this year anyway.


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