Single Mother Chronicles: Happy New and Old Me

TS Eliot 

‘ Tis the season for New Year’s Resolutions as some of us decided a couple of days ago, some of us may have broken them already and it is only January 2nd. (lol) The 31st of December either brings about a feeling of hope or dread. We promised to lose those last 10 pounds, reconnect with a lost friend, become more spiritual, start a new career, leave the negative folks behind or we believe the new year will bring about new attitudes, new opportunities or new loves.  And let’s be honest, for some single mothers they hope that this will be the year that the father of our children will understand what it takes to be a responsible father. And we silently pray (even if we do not want to admit it) that this will be the year we happen upon a man who will embrace us and our little ones. This is not silly or desperate, its human.

We tend to keep that last resolution to ourselves because we fear the appearance of desperately seeking…someone. However, what is wrong with wanting to share your fantastic self with someone else? Despite what some may say or wrote in those nauseating self help books, no one is meant to be alone. And most people desire some one to share their failures and triumphs with.

I usually do not make any type of resolutions. They have always seemed like a promise people do not want to really attain. It all sounds right at the time. They inspire you to feel as if you are starting over and hopeful in the year that follows. So this year, I  decided to start over in some instances and be hopeful in others, which included starting this blog. I set attainable goals for myself.

I have slowly lost contact with my best friend of 13 years. This is some one I use to stay on the phone with for at least  6 hours a day. We are each others confidant, soft place to fall and warriors. Through the birth of children and the death of  marriages we have been there for each other. At some point it began to feel like I was only bringing bad news and drama to our friendship table. So, I allowed us to drift apart. I feel like this is a friendship that deserved reconnection. Hopefully she feels the same way.

So, this year I did make some thing like resolutions. No, I take that back, I made New Year’s Affirmations that will speak truth into the things I want in my life, welcome the fact that they may not turn out exactly how I want them and stand in whatever the outcomes may be… knowing that at least I was finally open to them all.

Even through my trials and stumbles, I know I am blessed. This year I need to find out why and say ” Thank You”.

2015 here I am!

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